Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas Through The Tears

This Christmas is hard, it seems like this year just didn't agree with our family at all considering the summer we had and then to end it with the passing of Micah. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster complete with me screaming at little church ladies... apparently when I am sad I am also emotionally psychotic as well... We won't even discuss the outcome of either Joe or I hearing "I'll Have a Blue Christmas" on the radio. Let's just say it's not very pretty.

I honestly don't understand why things like this happen to such amazing people, but I do know through all of this that God has a plan even though at the moment I think his plan looks like crap and there are a few details I would like to discuss with him, I know deep in my heart that he does work everything together for good even when I can't understand. And if I didn't believe that I think I would just go crazy.

I was going to try and write a big long thing about how amazing Micah was and how much we miss him but I think Joey summed it up best in the Eulogy he wrote for Micah's memorial service, you can read it HERE.

The hardest part is just to figure out how to keep living. How do you just move on with your life after something like this. In some ways it seems to cruel and wrong to just continue like nothing happened, but in other ways I know Micah and I know he wouldn't have wanted anybody to stop living their lives to the fullest potential. So that leaves us to push ahead through the tears, starting with just a simple Merry Christmas.

Remember this Christmas that life is short and precious. Live everyday as though it was your last. Don't let yourself get so wrapped up in life you forget to spend the time with the people you love, because you never know when they might not be there anymore. So when your ripping through those presents, or carving up that Christmas dinner take a moment to pause and tell each and everyone of the people around you how much you love them and how special they are to you.

With that, through my tears I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

-The Pangburns (Joey, Kadie + Audrey)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Out Of The Office

Sunday evening Joey and I lost a very special member of our family, Micah Kaplan, Joe's cousin (more like his brother). Due to funeral preparations I will be taking the week off of work to help our family through this time. If you have an emergency and need to get a hold of me I will still be receiving e-mail, however if it is not urgent I probably won't be able to get back to you until next week.

Thank you for your patience.

If you knew Micah and would like more information on making donations to the family, the viewing or memorial service you can find all the information on the website we have set up here for him:

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Don't Mess With Christmas...

There are a few things in this world that you don't mess with me on because I will freak out on you. Those things would be:

1) My dog (seriously don't insult my furry child, or I will react like a mama bear and we might not be able to be friends anymore)
2) Disneyland (I have a weird protective attitude toward Disneyland, and someone not liking it is akin in my head to you setting my mother's house on fire, (insert violent action here))
3) Christmas (which of course is the point of this post lol)

I LOVE Christmas... I love EVERYTHING about Christmas. If you could live in a holiday (sorta like the Nightmare Before Christmas, I would for sure pick Christmasland, with my second choice of location being Independence Day Island). Part of my obsession with this holiday probably stems from the fact that my love language is, without a doubt, giving, so Christmas is like giant love fest for me. Our poor tree every year looks like a hostage being held captive by a present prison.

Poor Joey has to live through all my crazed Christmas decorating every year, I'm sure he's dreading what lunatic idea I'll come up with next every time I say "Joey.... how hard would it be to..."

To say I go a little overboard with this holiday might be an understatement.

But back to the title of this post. Don't Mess With Christmas....

Let's just say I am a tad picky when it comes to certain Christmas items and customs. There is a way I like things to be done and no amount of you telling me otherwise is going to change my mind. Joey has learned to just give in on these points I think lol... So I thought I'd share a few of my little quarks with you :)

1) When My Heart Finds Christmas - By Harry Connick Jr.

Growing up this was the CD we listened to the most every Christmas and every time I hear it I melt inside. I suppose my love of this CD also gets multiplied by the fact my all time favorite Christmas song "(It Must've Been Ol') Santa Claus" is on this CD as well... If you don't own it buy it now!!!! If you can't tell I'm slightly obsessed...

2) It's a Wonderful Life

Ok, first of all Jimmy Stewart is amazing, that's pretty much a fact. And this movie has to be on my all time favorite movies ever list. I love it that much. I snuggle up on the couch and get all warm and gooie inside every time I watch it. And no matter how many times I've seen this movie I'm always angry when Mr. Potter takes George's money and always cry when everybody chips in to save the day. But aside from it's amazingness this movie MUST be watched on Christmas Eve in our house every year, without fail. (To show you how serious I am, we are going to be in Disneyland this year for Christmas Eve and over the weekend and I am bringing it with me to watch in our hotel room that night).

3) Fresh Cut Noble Fir Trees

I know everybody loves the fake tree, and they look more and more real every year they make them but I will never be able to replace the smell of a real Noble fir in my living room. Growing up my parents were the coolest and would buy a living potted tree and then after christmas we'd plant them outside in our yard (we lived in the forest to they looked like they belonged there). Now since I live in Tucson now, and it would look slightly goofy to have a front yard full of fir trees in my front yard in the desert I have contented myself with buying cut trees.

Which brings me to my next point.... Can somebody explain the attraction of Douglas Fir trees to me? I don't get it. They look like giant bushes to me. Where do you put your ornaments!? Needless to say I prefer Noble Fir trees lol...

Which brings me to my long held reputation as the tree bitch... I like cut trees, but I want them to be as perfect as a fake tree, which is not impossible but does take time and does seem to annoy tree salesmen. Last year was the worst, I think I made the poor tree lot attendant open something like 13 trees up for me and I still didn't like any of them. And so the reputation for being the tree bitch was born. I've said it before but God bless my husband for marrying and putting up with a perfectionist....

The tree is a tricky subject apparently because I am also EXTREMELY picky about lighting the tree. Each branch has to be individually lit from the inside of the tree down the brach flip around the tip and back down the brach inside the tree to be repeated on the next branch. Also your wires should show as little as possible, not at all preferably.

Decorating the thing is a whole other story that I won't get into, but if possible avoid the subject of tinsel around Joey... lol...

4) Paper Snowflakes

This one is actually pretty simple... when we first got married we were dirt poor so for Christmas decorations I started cutting out and hanging paper snowflakes from the ceiling. Well every year since then I've cut a few more and added them to my collection and it's grown over the years until now it looks like our house has been attacked by a snow storm every year lol... Even in the desert I'm determined to have a white Christmas!

5) Old School Outdoor Lights

This is more of a nostalgic preference than anything but I really prefer the old school jumbo sized house lights. I just think they look cooler personally. Oh and since I am just laying all my Christmas craziness out there; if you have a two story house, don't be lazy and just decorate the bottom eve... it looks lame.

6) Official Christmas PJ's

This one is sort of stupid and corny but I will admit I am one of those people who makes everybody who stays at my house Christmas Eve wear Christmas themed PJ's to wake up and open presents in. I also make everybody wear them when we decorate too... even Audrey dog has a pair lol... yes I am that person lol...

Whew... ok, that's all the soul bearing I'm prepared to do for one post lol. Hopefully you don't think I'm a crazed Christmas lunatic now lol...

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